6 February 2017 Can I Really Do This?

I once completed the swimming leg of an ironman competition. I had prepared for weeks swimming countless laps back and forth in a local school pool. I had also done enough sprint and olympic length triathlons with swims in lake water to know what I would be facing on race day. I knew what I had signed up for and I didn't want to let my team down. I had to swim well. On race day, I got in the water, which of course was cold and always shocking to the system. The lake was just shallow enough to ensure the swim would be choppy and choked with sediment from the lake bottom. As I neared the half way buoy, I looked up to realize just how much more I had to swim. I was tired but knew I couldn't stop. I started thinking of a brightly colored fish and mentally sang her song "just keep swimming, just keep swimming." That little tune and thoughts of my family got me to the finish line. I crossed the mat and set my personal best time, though still slow by any sense of racing standards.

I was reminded today of that experience as the expectations, requirements and checklists seemed to keep piling up. This journey and its tasks that lay ahead, while unbelievably exciting, are daunting at nearly every level. I am questioning my reserve and ability to meet all of the requirements laid out before me. I realize there is much time before I will arrive in Antarctica and certainly I will prepare, practice and research, but can I figure it all out, will I gain enough background information? In short, will I be ready, can I really do this?

I enjoy challenges and this will certainly be one that I will embrace with every fiber of my being, but I still question whether I have the ability to put all of the these parts together and be the PolarTREC teacher they desire. I sit here tonight on day 2 of orientation, feeling overwhelmed, but no less excited. I am committed even though the water is muddy right now. I don't know how I will make it to the finish, but I am absolutely going to keep on swimming.

Looking out the windows from the International Arctic Research Center at UAF Dr. Kristen O'Brien, Guest lecturer and PolarTREC Alumni speaking about her research in Antarctica Reindeer on campus at UAF